Change Unwanted Behaviour

change decisions mindtraining Jul 31, 2022
Change unwanted behaviour

There are many things in life we want to change. Our behaviours are often a reflection of our thoughts, so the first step is to become aware of the thoughts that are causing the behaviour. Once we are aware, we can start to change our thoughts, and ultimately our behaviours.

We can practice mindfulness. This means being in the present moment and aware of our thoughts, without judgement. Once we are aware of our thoughts, we can start to question them. Are they true? Do they serve us? Are they helping us to achieve our goals?

If the answer is no, then we can start to change them.

 

Why do you want to change your behaviour?

There are many reasons why you might want to change your behaviour. Maybe you want to improve your health, or maybe you want to be more successful at work? Whether it's procrastination, overeating, or something else, we all have room for improvement. Whatever the reason, changing your behaviour can be a challenge.

When it comes to changing your behaviour, it's important to know what your goals are. Without a clear goal in mind, it can be difficult to stay motivated and stick to your plan.

 

Set yourself up for success by planning.

If you're looking to change your behaviour, there are a few things you can do to set yourself up for success. First, identify the behaviour you want to change and why you want to change it. Then, come up with a plan to change that behaviour. This plan should be specific and realistic, and you should make sure to set a timeline for yourself. Additionally, it's important to have a support system in place to help you through the process. Finally, be prepared to face setbacks and challenges - but don't let them derail your entire plan. With these tips in mind, you facilitate lasting changes to your behaviour.

If you subscribe to my newsletter you get the E-Book: Change it Easy - 10 Powerful Pre-conditions for change for free.

 

Understand your triggers

What situations or circumstances trigger your unwanted behaviour? Identify your triggers. Be aware of your thoughts and emotions. What thoughts or emotions precede your unwanted behaviour? If you can catch yourself before you start feeling overwhelmed, you may be able to avoid acting on your impulses.

Changing thoughts, but more importantly, underlying emotions is not that easy. On a conscious level, we can learn to understand that what we believe ourselves to be might not be true. For instance, if I feel I am not good enough or ugly or not intelligent I might be able to learn in time that these thoughts I have about myself are not true. And to a certain extent, I can start behaving differently since I now no longer believe those thoughts. I might even replace them with other thoughts. That I am good enough and that I am pretty or intelligent. But the million dollar question is: do you feel that to be true when you tell yourself this or when other people say this to you? Is that feeling of inferiority completely gone now?

 

Seek professional help

If you're struggling to change an unwanted behaviour, know that you're not alone. Many people want to make a change but don't know how. Changing your unwanted behaviour can be difficult when you try to do this all by yourself, but there are some things you can do to help make the process easier. Just read the E-book; Change it Easy. 

An Awakened Mind Coach can help you understand your behaviour and why you may be engaging in unwanted behaviours. But more importantly, they can also help you to change your behaviour by leading you to the subconscious. What we have stored in our subconscious is the root cause of many unwanted behavioural patterns. This is why it usually is not so easy to change behaviour. And this is also what most books and blogs about change never address. 

Many people struggle to change unwanted behaviour; hence the many books and blogs. And if they succeed in changing their behaviour it's usually replaced by another unwanted pattern. But trust me if I say: this is not your fault! 

Let me give you an example. 

A client who came to me said that she had changed unwanted behaviour, in her case overeating, with another unwanted pattern. She was now addicted to running. She was very happy with the behaviour change at first. She was healthier, she was finally slender and she felt good about herself. But now the exercise pattern that she had adopted started to bother her. In the beginning, she told herself that this addiction was at least a healthy one. But as time went by she noticed that when she was not running or exercising for a day she felt restless and guilty, and she started to feel unhappy. She felt she had to change her life in a way that she was able to run or exercise each day.   

When you read this you might think what is wrong with that? We need to exercise to stay healthy. And you would be right of course. However, if this habit becomes a behavioural pattern that you can't give up for a day, let alone a day or two without starting to feel restless and unhappy you are addicted. Just like she was addicted to food at one point. And an addiction means you are not free in your choices.  

 

Replacing one behavioural pattern with another

So why was the first unwanted behavioural pattern replaced by another one? This is because the root cause of the problem is not the behaviour of overeating. So by changing this behaviour you are dealing with the effects of the problem and not the problem itself. This is true for almost all behavioural changes. This is also why changing behaviour is hard. Because you are not dealing with the underlying problem. You are in a way fighting yourself. 

Which behavioural pattern are you trying to change for a long time? And have you succeeded? And if so, have you replaced this with another unwanted pattern? Or has another pattern, that was already there now become problematic? Just know that it's not you being 'not strong enough'. You are simply fighting your own mind and you need help to get to the root cause of the problem; your subconscious.   

 

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